What Are You Waiting For?

By Greg Primm

Don was my favorite uncle — he and my aunt lived in the “big city” (Houston, TX).  He had a pool table, a hot tub, cable TV, and pictures of those dogs playing poker.  Oh yeah, the best part was the Blue Bell Cookies and Cream.  This was before it was available outside of Texas.  He had a never ending supply of it.  Every night during our visits he and I would get a big bowl and sit in front of the TV and watch Astros baseball.  For a kid from rural Arkansas, the annual trip to Houston was about the best thing going.  Even the road trip was fun.  We’d pile in the Oldsmobile Delta 88 about 6 am, eat a big breakfast in McAlester, OK, speed past Dallas and try to make it to Houston before the afternoon rush hour.  

I remember my uncle would get up really early to go to work to beat the traffic.  Out of the door by 6:45, he’d work all day and come home by 6:00.  As I got older, my parents and my uncle would have conversations about when he would retire.  Over the years, he got several opportunities to retire early but the timing never seemed right.  In my high school and college years, we stopped going to Houston every summer, but I still saw my uncle when he and my aunt came to Arkansas to visit.  

Don retired in 1995.  I don’t know exactly how old he was, but it was around 60.  He’d finally been offered a retirement package he couldn’t refuse.  He and my aunt had some plans, things they had always wanted to do but never had the time.  Finally, it was their time.

Several months later I got the call that my Uncle had a massive heart attack and passed away.  It was a shock to us all.  I’d just started my first job.  In fact, I was on my first business trip in Pine Bluff, Arkansas when it happened.  Young, energetic, and ready to take on the world, I just didn’t know what I wanted to do.  I was already beginning to see that my new job was not something that would inspire me.  I didn’t bounce out of bed each morning ready to do the thing I was being paid to do.

Don had ended his career as I was starting mine.  He was excited to learn that I’d taken a job with one of the largest companies in my industry.  I remember being a little jealous that he was able to do anything he wanted now that he was retired.  And here I was trudging off to the office, 22 years old and already wondering what else was out there.

His death impacted me a great deal.  Would I spend 40 years in the work force, waiting for the day I could retire to get out and really live?  Was a 9-5 desk job what I had to look forward to?  At some point would I go numb to it all and just accept that this was going to be my life?  

Let me say that I don’t think my uncle felt like this.  He always spoke highly of his work and I think he enjoyed his life before he retired.  He raised two great kids, had a great wife, great friends, etc.

However, I think there are a lot of people who are quietly plodding along, waiting for the day — someday — when they can start living the life they intend.  The problem is that the day never comes.  You see, we’re waiting on it to find us, as if it will just drop in our laps.  Why aren’t we out actively seeking and striving to live the life we want?  What are we waiting for?  Tomorrow? Next year? Retirement?  

The economic turmoil of the past year should tell us that the promises many of us bought into – stable job, increasing home prices, 401K, promotions, retirement – aren’t guaranteed.  

My life has been a continuous journey where I’ve never been content.  It’s frustrating to think that I may never find contentment, but then again it may be the design for us all.  

In his recent article on Desire, my writing partner James wrote:  ”I’ve spent a lifetime experiencing differing levels of discontentment. Not altogether unhappy with what I have, and not necessarily wanting more than what a friend or coworker has, but just having a nagging yearning inside for something more, something better, something different. I’ve come to accept it as a part of who I am, and I don’t really know if it’s right or wrong. I just know it’s there and it’s not going away.”

He hit it out of the park with that statement.  We all yearn for something more.  The questions to ask:  What are you waiting for?  What piece of your dream can you start on today, right now?  Don’t put your faith in the belief that if you toil today, tomorrow you’ll magically reach your goals.  Make something happen today!  Start small, but get moving forward.

I’ll leave you with this quote from Mark Twain that I love.  It speaks to the adventurer and the dreamer in all of us.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain

Photo credit: enggul