by The Howitzer

Without recanting one word from my previous article I want to write a rebuttal to my own position. Although there is a definite need for wisdom and discretion about what you share of your personal walk with the Lord there is a case that must be made for transparency as well. Introspection definitely has it place but men were never intended to live life alone. One of the first sociological observations ever made about man was about his struggle in living an “alone” life. God said, “it is not good for the man to be alone”. Man was created to live in community. He was also created to live in communion with his Maker.

I think this oxy-moron of being open about your life and being private about your life is a tough one to navigate. Personality type plays a big part in how we approach our sharing. Some of us are wide open and some of us are very private. Personally, I am both. Part of my make up is very public and likes to air out my thoughts, feelings and opinions to the world (I guess that why I enjoy blogging). Another part of me is very private and is really unknown by most people. Over the years I have learned painfully that if you share some of you most intimate secrets with the wrong person it will come back to bite you on the butt. That is what is so wonderful about a real relationship with God, you can share your most intimate thoughts with Him and He doesn’t judge or reject you. He also doesn’t rat you out or use that knowledge against you.

My observation is that most men don’t have a close enough circle that really gives a rip about how they are really doing. That is really sad. I know a few years ago I was in a really tough situation and I actually got on the phone and ask some men to come and stand by me in a do-or-die kind of a scenario. One came and the others were too busy living their own lives. We would all like to think that we have some friends who would come in a moment’s notice but that may or may not be true. I do know that as we share our lives with others and they get to know what is going on inside us, the likelihood of having a last-minute-man show up is more more. I may be wrong, but I think most of us would like be a part of a band of brothers who know each other and accept and support one another. I know there are some bah-humbuggers out there who say, “Howitzer, I have no interest in having others know about my crap and I really don’t want to know about theirs.” But, it is those same folks who have probably experienced some kind of rejection at the hand of friends. Man was not created to live on an island by himself.

My point (as rambling as it may be) is this. We need others around us to share our lives with. We are lonely as a culture and most men I know privately bemoan the fact that are not satisfied with the social aspect of their lives. And even if friendship is not on the top of your felt needs it is a real need that you probably need to connect with. Solomon said it this way in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.

^9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: ^10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!  ^11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone?  ^12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.   A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Photo by Arenamontanus